Signs your elderly parent is being scammed by phone

Behavioural warning signs

These are usually visible before any money goes. They build up over weeks, sometimes months.

• A new “friend” on the phone. They’ve started talking about someone you’ve never met — “the lovely lady from the bank”, “the policeman who’s been helping me”, “the man looking into Dad’s pension.” The relationship feels intimate but you can’t pin down where it came from.
• Secretive about phone calls.They lower their voice when you walk in, hang up quickly, or won’t say who was on the line. Healthy old people don’t usually hide their calls from their adult children.
• Mentions of an “investigation”, a “refund”, or a “windfall.” A recurring story about being owed money — by HMRC, the bank, a pension provider, an inheritance, a lottery — is one of the strongest signs. Scammers almost always frame their ask as part of a story where the victim is the one being done a favour.
• New urgency around finance. They suddenly want to know what their bank balance is, ask about their pension, want to find their card numbers, or talk about a deadline they have to meet.
• Confusion about the bank.They mention someone from “the fraud department” or “the investigation team.” They believe the bank has phoned them recently when it hasn’t.
• Withdrawal from family.Phone calls they used to enjoy get cut short. Visits feel tense. They’re preoccupied.
• Defensive when you ask about money or recent calls. This usually means they’re ashamed but not yet ready to tell you.

Financial warning signs

• Unexplained withdrawals, especially cash. Multiple withdrawals just under £500 (the bank’s typical reporting threshold) are a classic sign. So are larger one-off transfers to unfamiliar payees.
• New “regulars” on the bank statement. Names you don’t recognise, especially with vague payment references like “LOAN”, “HOLDING”, “REFUND” or numeric references.
• Gift-card purchases.iTunes, Amazon, Steam, Google Play vouchers in unusual amounts are almost never benign when bought by an elderly relative who doesn’t use those platforms.
• Cryptocurrency or “investment” payments. Any reference to Bitcoin, “trading”, or “crypto recovery” on the statement of someone in their 70s or 80s warrants an immediate conversation.
• Bills not being paid. Utility, council-tax, or care-home reminders piling up while money is moving elsewhere.
• Cash deliveries or unfamiliar visitors to the front door. Neighbours sometimes spot this before family does. Ask if you’re unsure.

How to raise it without losing their trust

This is the hardest part. Older adults are often deeply ashamed about being targeted — and terrified that admitting it will mean losing their independence. The wrong conversation makes the secrecy worse and pushes them further into the scammer’s arms. A few things that work:

• Start with someone else’s story. “I read about a couple in their 70s being scammed by someone claiming to be from the police — have you ever had a call like that?” This lets them open the door without having to confess.
• Make it about being on their side.“If someone ever does ring you pretending to be the bank, I want you to know about 159 — it’s how I’d check too.” You’re a fellow target, not an inspector.
• Avoid “you should have known.” Even if they’ve already lost money. The scam is designed by professionals to deceive smart adults. Shame shuts the conversation down. Sympathy keeps it open.
• Talk about specifics.“The bank will never ask you to move money.” “The police will never send a courier.” “HMRC don’t leave arrest-warrant voicemails.” Concrete rules are easier to remember and apply than “be careful.”
• Don’t threaten independence.If they believe the conversation will end in losing the chequebook, the car keys, or worse — moving into care — they will deny everything. Make it explicit that you’re not trying to take anything away.

Practical protective steps that don’t require a confession

• Register with the Telephone Preference Service.Free. Reduces some marketing calls but won’t stop scammers, who ignore it.
• Stick a card next to the landline with three numbers on it — 159 (bank fraud), 0300 123 2040 (Action Fraud), 101(police). Plus the single sentence: “The bank will never ask me to move my money.”
• Ask the bank about a trusted-contact arrangement. Most UK banks offer an option to nominate a relative to be alerted on unusual activity. Ask in branch — it can usually be set up in twenty minutes.
• Talk to them about a call-monitoring service. Zivlo (this site) is built for exactly this situation — guardians silently listen to unknown calls and can intervene when they hear a scam in progress. The protected person keeps their phone and their independence.
• Read related guides. The courier scam, safe-account scam, HMRC scam call, and police-impersonation scam are the four UK scripts that account for most of the money lost.

If it has already happened

Speed matters more than dignity in the first hour. After that the order reverses.

1. Bank first. 159, or the number on the back of the card. Same-day faster payments can sometimes still be recalled if you reach the fraud team within minutes.
2. Action Fraud. 0300 123 2040 or actionfraud.police.uk. Keep the crime reference number.
3. If a doorstep collection happened: 101 for non-emergency local police. Or 999 if anyone is at the door right now.
4. Expect follow-ups. Victims are often added to sucker lists traded between criminal groups. A second scam — sometimes pretending to be a recovery service offering to get the lost money back — is common within weeks. Warn your relative explicitly.
5. Look after them.The financial loss is rarely the worst part for a scam victim. The shame is. Take time to tell them clearly that they were the target of a crime — that this happens to bank managers, accountants, and police officers — and that you’re not angry.

How Zivlo can help

Zivlo was built for the exact problem this guide is about. The scammer’s edge is isolation — a one-to-one conversation with no second pair of ears in the room. Zivlo puts that second pair of ears on the call without taking the protected person’s phone away. When an unknown number rings, up to three nominated family guardians are alerted on their own phones in real time. They can silently listen in, join the call to challenge the caller, or end the call. The caller and the protected person both hear a short notice that the call is being monitored — usually enough on its own to make a scammer hang up.

Trusted numbers (the real bank, the GP, close family) can be added to a SafeList so guardians aren’t alerted for routine calls. The protected person keeps their phone, their contacts, and their independence — but they’re not alone on the line with strangers any more.

See Will it work for me? for device requirements, or get started to set up an account for a relative.

Useful UK numbers to keep written down

• 159— Stop Scams UK. Connects to the person’s bank’s fraud team. Free from any UK phone.
• 0300 123 2040 — Action Fraud.
• 101 — Non-emergency police.
• 999 — Emergency police, only if someone is at the door now.
• Age UK scams and fraud advice — written for older adults and the people who love them.
• Telephone Preference Service — free register that reduces (but doesn’t stop) marketing calls.